Expectations Are Counter Productive

What about those times when you have an expectation and they’re EXCEEDED?! If the expectation were removed, in this case, you would have missed out on enjoying that good feeling. It makes no sense to me to not have expectations. The idea that expectations are counterproductive seems to make perfect sense… for someone with no future and no desire to succeed (and that’s certainly not intended as an insult toward your sister). Why would I risk missing the joys of success just to avoid a few minor upsets? Even so, I’ll try it out for a day…

(When I say “you” I do not mean guypatterson, just the general public)

I kind of feel like it’s ok to have expectations, but at the same time you have to know that there’s always a possibility that things won’t work out exactly the way you want - this way you’re not necessarily going to be disappointed by the results, since you’re being realistic, and can instead learn from them, rather than let them take hold of your entire demeanor in such a way that it ruins your day (or even others, indirectly). If you go through life having these expectations and believing everything will automatically work out for you every time, stop fooling yourself, because you’ll obviously find yourself disappointed more often than you’d like. Nobody is perfect.

Though I like the idea of just letting things happen, and I generally try to do that, I’m not sure if that would help me achieve certain things in life I may have aspects of doing if I DIDN’T expect a certain outcome. Throughout your day, you’re often doing specific things in order to get to another specific thing to get to another specific thing (etc.) - and you do those things because you’re expecting something afterward. If you just go around not expecting things, why would you do anything at all?

I guess realistically, it all depends on the person and their own personalities. Everyone copes with things differently, so it’s really just a matter of what works for YOU (not necessarily guypatterson, but everyone in general.)I think you have to expect some things to happen, otherwise (like Nita said), you won’t ever get that really awesome feeling of achievement. Other times, go with the flow and enjoy life, as long as you can! Do whatever makes you happy. :]

Peace

Yes. What K3221 said.

“believing everything will automatically work out for you every time”

Is an expectation in itself, which goes against what this entire article was about.

My point was that there are actually people who go through life with that expectation, making them incredibly naive, because obviously “everything always working out” never happens. I thought that supported your argument for not having expectations, because it was an example of how having them will result in disappointment.

I think this is all very circumstantial. Generally, I try to remove expectations from my daily life, but that in no way takes away from my feelings of success when things actually work out as planned. Exhibit A: I really want a new car for Christmas. Do I really think my parents will buy me that new car? Hell no. But if I actually do get a new car, without expecting it, will that hinder my happiness? Hell no! At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how you look at it, but what efforts you make to help your situation. Therefore, instead of wondering if I will get a new car for Christmas, I’m going to act like I deserve it. Maybe I’ll make good grades this semester! (maybe not..)

Also, there’s a distinct difference between “expectations” and “goals”. I like to consider myself highly motivated. Just because I don’t expect to be successful, doesn’t mean I won’t be

Payce!

This is a good discussion- one where people can take the text written here and apply it to their lives and observe the results… Then share with others. Ahh, community!

So here is my two cents: Like the title of this blog, expectations are counter productive because they are made by a mind that plans a future situation based off of past experiences, thus narrowing the possibilities of what could happen. This is why it is essential to go past the mind and it’s ideas, because it only knows what it has experienced; there is a whole world to explore! But one must be open to the world to receive what it has to offer, whether it agrees with your agenda or not!

This is very empowering because no matter what situation occurs, the effect should have little to no impact on you as a person. If it does, it means that one is susceptible to outside circumstances, thus playing victim to anything that happens; good or bad! The key is to find the center within yourself which assists you through sunny skies or rainy weather. That is true power!

Well put Katone. Thanks for sharing - you should start contributing to the site

You’ve got some great topics on this site.

My ideas: The brain is largely a memory-prediction system. We make predictions and form expectations constantly and take many things for granted. If you opened your front door and it felt light as a feather, would you notice it? Of course, because some part of your mind was expecting it to have a familiar weight to it. We expect the ground to stop our foot when we take a step, and unexpected pressures on our body can make us feel off-balance. These are all reasonable predictions. They are there so that we notice when things are wrong (really, so that we notice things at all!), so we have a chance to deal with them. If expectations or predictions didn’t precede ALL thought, then we wouldn’t be thinking at all. Without expectations to highlight your experience, you wouldn’t even be able to read what I’m typing (you’re synapses aren’t fast enough to do a dictionary lookup of each word as it’s presented in addition to then linking them all together in a meaningful way). Your reading would be considerably slowed if you could not predict at least one word or concept in advance and in a flowing way. Deer foil banana flint tilda green 9-oclock umbrella gateway spoon bow-tie. Now recall all those words from memory, and next come up with a story or idea that they all fit into. Good luck. You don’t even realize how constantly your brain is making predictions at so many levels.

So, expectation is essential to thought. The PROBLEM is false or ungrounded expectation. Endless drama in your head… is really all in your head and often ungrounded in reality. You’ve just got to balance the amount and kind of expectations you form, otherwise you’ll be insanely sane. Remain conscious of you’re expectations and keep them in check; learn to form expectations about your expectations. It’s sort of a catch-22: “There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one’s safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn’t have to; but if he didn’t want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.”

[…] Expectations Are Counter Productive […]

I believe James put it very well. You simply can’t go through life without expectations. Each day you expect to wake up, have a warm shower, eat breakfast and head to work in your car. If the shower was cold, you ran out of food or the car wouldn’t start you would be disappointed and frustrated. You can’t not expect these things to happen in a normal life. It just isn’t possible for the average human.

Now in some cases you could lower your expectations because then you are more likely to be. Ever felt ripped off when we went to see that movie everyone said was so good, and it sucked? We all have. Still, could we really purposely lower expectations if everyone around us was talking it up? Maybe, but usually it just doesn’t cross our mind and it happens naturally.

In life you could expect to be a low paid lonely individual so that you aren’t disappointed if it happens. Is that really the best way? To be successful you have to think big. You are more likely to succeed if you have a plan, have goals and know what you want to do, compared to ‘winging it’ all the way through life. And isn’t it better to set the bar high and almost reach it then setting it much lower and reaching it? As long as your goals and expectations are realistic then everything should be fine.

I just honestly can’t see it being humanly possible to get rid of all expectations.

The Underage Thinker,

It’s possible, but requires a lot of effort. Perhaps I can encourage my wise sister to elaborate on the matter, she can probably explain the concept much better than I can. When she first told me about expectations, I argued the same thing about waking up, taking a warm shower, etc, but she said just don’t expect those things.

Desires, goals, and expectations are completely different things - and being successful doesn’t necessarily require having expectations. I posted on your blog! Glad to see you were inspired Stick with it. If you really are Underage, you’re bright, and I want to read more of what you have to say.

In general, yes, expectations, fantasies and desires will be present in the mind, much like memories will exist to help create them. However, it is entirely possible to go through life without acting on said expectations. Having high or low expectations is irrelevant; all that matters is that they are not acted on, because it is a set up to inflict more suffering upon ones self, and living is painful enough ! Not acting on expectations requires a sense of vulnerability, because it prevents one from having “control” over a situation, but that “control” is limiting; it is a restraint. When the mind has a specific something it wants, all other indirect opportunities that appear to fulfill expectations are ignored, because they are not what the mind has imagined; it is like looking for grass when you are already standing on it!

So rather, have intention instead. It is less specific, and thus more creative and opportunistic. Expectations and desires are linked to one direct route while intention is broad and manifests in various ways; indirect, yet more challenging to encounter!

edit…! last sentence; * more challenging to be aware of!

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