Are You Feeling Sorry For Someone? Don’t

What could possibly go wrong during an evening of dinner and fine wine at a friend’s house? Oh the usual, biased efforts encouraging a wedding proposal, forcing someone to do something they’d rather not, but we’re all having fun, right?

The couple hosting the dinner has been together for quite some time, longer than most existing married couples today. So their friends felt the need to pressure the would be groom into proposing - how stupid. After discussing the evening with someone close to me, she explained, “I feel sorry for Bill.” I replied with, “why?” to which she explained, “for having to put up with that whole situation.” This statement and the reason behind it totally baffles me.

How can someone feel sorry for Bill and his situation when it’s his fault he’s in that situation in the first place? The entire scenario is a direct result of who he’s chosen to surround and associate himself with. Had he selected a different group of people, there’s an excellent chance the pressure to propose wouldn’t have occurred in the first place.

When I attempted to explain, “None of my friends would have ever tried such a stunt.” An acknowledgment of, “Well I sure hope not” was given. So, to conclude - don’t feel sorry for someone if the situation creating the feeling of sorrow is the effect of their stupid choices, especially if that someone is unwilling to rectify the situation with better choices.

Further Clarification - Added: 4:01 P.M. - 12/10/07

The point of this post was misinterpreted as a result of poor writing, so perhaps the following will clear some things up.

Although one could assume I was referring to Bill’s choice regarding his significant other, that was not the group of people I was referring to. Relationships are obviously about ups and downs, pushing and pulling, compromising, and much more. These are some of the elements that contribute to a successful life long relationship and are anticipated; however, the people you choose to include in that circle (relationship) are the people a couple should collectively agree on when inviting them into their home. That is the group of people that were chosen (invited) and referred to, thus resulting in the events described above. Simple cause and effect.

In addition, this was by no means a personal attack on anyone, or any couple, but a suggestion to my significant other that I just so happen to share with world. My observations told me the entire situation occurred simply because of a poor choice, or choices. We all make them because we’re all human, and no one is perfect. I sincerely apologize to anyone who misinterpreted my desire to share my suggestion on my blog with the rest of the world.